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cheshirecat018

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New Blog [22 Sep 2010|04:59pm]
Mostly due to the fact that I very very rarely have fast internet (or even really internet at all) on my laptop, I am rarely on livejournal, and therefore almost never update.
And I know you're all facebook friends with me and such, but just in case you missed it, and if you're interested still in hearing about my life (but in a much more interesting way than this ever was) you can read my new blog!!! I think it's quite lovely, and it makes me happy.

So why not give it a go??

(maybe even follow/bookmark it)

Read it!!

Quaker of the Western World
miaquakes.blogspot.com
thoughts

[05 Jul 2009|02:43pm]
I become quite raciest on Sundays.
I feel a little bad about it, but not really.
See about two years ago a new church moved into the church next to the house next to us.
It used to be a church full of old boring white couples.
But now it's an African church. And I actually do mean African, like, the kids are probably first generation citizens for the most part.
And on Sunday their stupid cars line our block so there's no where to park when my ma comes home from church or I come back from the gym.
And every Sunday at least 2 car alarms go off.
And after noon their kids start screaming and running around outside and the parents yell at them and have loud conversations and stand in the street in their African garb and have conversations when you're trying to drive somewhere.
I hate them.
They also like to have church late at night on Fridays, sometimes Saturday, sometimes even Wednesday.
So once again there is no where to park and late at night you can here them.
When they first moved in they would have late night stuff all the time and you could hear all the music and people yelling and shit late into the night, but once my mom called the cops on them a few times they calmed down a bit.

Still, they make me feel like a terrible person cause I hate them so much, but seriously, they need to be aware that they have a church in the middle of a quite little neighborhood, not in the middle of the city.
Blah!
thoughts

Part of History [04 Nov 2008|11:48pm]
I was there.

I still cannot believe that I was there, in downtown Chicago, in Grant Park when our new president spoke for the first time.

Everyone here is so happy and joyful, it's a wonderful feeling.
We ran down a blocked off street in the middle of Chicago cheering and getting other people to cheer with us.
My friends and I all hugged a random woman in the street in the middle of a crowd because we were all so happy.
It was one of the best hugs I'd ever gotten.
It was the maybe 40/50 something middle class looking black woman and when she hugged each of us she squeezed tight and said "We are finally one"
It was amazing.

We talked with an older black man on the train about how amazing this is.

We've smiled at everyone.

We've cheered with everyone.

I love this city more than I ever thought I could, I have never felt so connected with so many strangers.
thoughts

[14 Apr 2008|09:36pm]
It has recently come to my attention that I am not incorrect in thinking that my friends aren't really my friends any more.
All I can say is I'm sorry for everything, and I'd try to explain why I say adn do the things I do, but I don't have a way.
Even I don't know who I am, and I've never really known how to act with people, and time after time it's ended so many friendships and I've never known how to save them, and the same goes now.

I don't mean to say so much of what I say.
I really don't.
But when I hear people around me saying those things, I start saying them, and I end up being the one getting in trouble for it.
And when I'm a bitch, I am really quite unaware of it, because no one says anything until it's too late.

And now I sound like I'm blaming anyone but me.
But it's my fault.
I've been the bitch.
And I'm sorry.

And I really don't mean to try and make things about me all the time but I'm just honestly shit when it comes to conversion a lot, which is why I end up resorting to myself of gossip, because I feel anything else I could say wouldn't interest people.
I'm really just insecure because I've been left and used a lot, so it has created something bad and someone who doesn't know anything about who or how to be.

And for all that I know nothing else to say but sorry.

I don't want to be alone.

And I'm sorry.
6 thoughts

[03 Apr 2008|10:03pm]
I just experienced the most perfect moment of my life and I know I'll never have that again but I don't care.
I feel like I could die happy.
It was that perfect, that amazing.
I don't care how fucked up the world is, that was the most beautiful moment of my life.
5 thoughts

[22 Mar 2008|01:06pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Stealing music is fantastic.
My brother asked me to charge his iPod so I downloaded Senuti and proceeded to go though his music and take everything I wanted.
Now I have lots of good music, like the Shins album that JB never reburned for me, and Vampire Weekend, and Iron and Wine, and The Smiths, and Fatboy Slim, and Keane and Sefjan Stevens that Chris never brought me.
My brother has very good tastes!
Woo!

Also, my room is quite clean and rearranged and I love it!
And my hair is red.

thoughts

Would you see my movie? [06 Mar 2008|10:36pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

About two years ago I took a screenwriting class at the Loft and came up with a movie idea that I really liked. Lately it's been going around my head because I REALLY like it and can totally visualize it but never knew what to do with it.
But today while watching TV (all my best idea seem to come when I watch TV) I realized that I just need to start working on it and stop thinking about it.
This is the first idea of mine that I don't have a doubt about.
It's the first one that I am positive will become something big.
It has to become a movie.
It HAS so.
I can see it, I can see it all and I love it and I'm almost positive audiences would love it.
I'm going to write this movie.
I've even decided now that I'm going to talk to Frieda and change my IP to be about this movie and spend it working on writing a detailed synopsis so I know exactly what I want this story to be.
I'm thinking of asking Ms. Hayes to read it once I write it up and tell me what she thinks because I know she knows movies.

I can't stop thinking about this damn movie and I swear, one day you will see previews for it all over and you will all watch it on the big screen. (and you'll all watch it because you love me!)

I even have the hope that this movie will be good enough to win me a little golden man, but I'll be happy if it gets out there and people like it.


By the way, right now the title I really like for it is "Pop, Rocks, and Coke"
(it makes more sense if you know the story)
But I want to know what you think of that title because if it sounds lame and not like a movie you'd see, let me know.

3 thoughts

I'm ready to ruin a life [15 Jan 2008|10:27pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

I'm pretty much feeling like ruining Payton's life at the moment.
It's like this was my final tipping point and now all the rage from him pulling this shit with me over the last 4 years has come crashing down on me and I want nothing more than to see him suffer.
I've been nothing but nice to him since I've know him.
I've come back to him every single time, I've told him he was a great person when he felt like shit, I've given up so much for him, and I've gotten jack shit back.
That little fucker is going to pay, I will find a way to make him suffer for this.
I won't take it any longer, I've sat back and let him abuse me for long enough.
I don't know if I've ever been this full of pure rage in my entire life.
It's a kind of thrilling feeling.
Too bad I don't have any good life ruining ideas.

thoughts

[15 Jan 2008|08:56pm]
Boys suck, and life sucks a bit.
Payton seems to be avoiding me, he's blocked me on AIM and will not respond to any texts or message I send, and I have no idea why.
And I hate finally saying this on here, cause I feel I'll get the "I told you so's" but then I remembered that no one really reads this anymore, so no problem right?
He finally replied to a wall post asking about the play, he's not going with me, so now I need to find a replacement date.
Anyone?
Friday night?
I feel a bit desperate.
It really sucks.
It doesn't help that my friends seem to be moving away from being close to me.
I'm tired of all my attempts at relationships keep failing in HORRIBLE ways.
I'm not going to drop this this time without a fight.
It's just not going to happen, this is one too many times for me.
I am not his little toy that he can just fucking pick up and drop whenever he feels like it.
It's time for Payton to learn what a bitch I really can be.
6 thoughts

Christmas, where are you? [25 Dec 2007|12:14pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Over the last years I've felt my joy or Christmas slowly fading, but even so, it's always felt like Christmas.
But not this year.
And I think the main reason is cause we've taken how we normally do Christmas and fucking threw it out the window.
It used to go like this:
Made food Christmas Eve day, have Dad and Angie (sometimes Regan) over, and eat and open presents that night, play games, whatever. We just have the regular family Christmas .
Christmas morning we eat a nice breakfast and open stockings. Then dad picks us up and we drive up to Boyd for the Fjerkenstad Christmas (which consists of lots of tasty but oh so bad food).
And that's Christmas!
Sometimes we flip the two days, if we have to, but still.

But this year I don't even know. We did nothing much during the day yesterday except clean and wrap presents, then at 4 went got my grandparents and went to my Aunt and Uncles house. We had a big dinner with all them (and some extra family that my uncle knows...) and we chatted and opened our gift exchange presents, then my uncles family opened their presents, we played a game, and we went home.
(the high point of that night I think was the lamb and the homemade egg nog with rum)

Today, at 6, we're having normal family Christmas.
But not till 6.
So who the fuck knows what we'll do until then.

It just doesn't feel like Christmas in the least.
And that really makes me sad.
I miss Christmas.
Oh well...

I am a bit excited for my date tomorrow... though I'm sure many of you are thinking I shouldn't go, but I am.

thoughts

[01 Aug 2007|09:13pm]
I'm scared.
We can't find or contact my sister or reach anyone who might have seen her today.
I'm really scared.
7 thoughts

Please Please Please Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [06 Jul 2007|09:56pm]
I'm having a major iTunes issue, if anyone has any ideas or knows what I can do PLEASE let me know.
So, it's actually part my computer, part my iTunes.
My computer decided that some of my files are "corrupt" and I guess deleted them, and some of those were music, so know I have music that my iTunes can't find (some or which was even bought on iTunes)
AND my iTunes did something weird and decided it wanted to put all the music it could find onto my iTunes so there are like 1 to 3 extra copies of almost all the songs, but nicely, most of those doubles AREN'T for the missing files.
SO!
My iPod still has all these songs and they work on my iPod because I haven't updated my iPod in forever (and thankfully, I have not added anything to my iTunes or even listened to anything on it since my speakers fail to live)

So the main thing is, if anyone knows a way that I can clear my iTunes and put the songs from my iPod on to my iTunes without losing anything, please, please, please!!! let me know!!!!
Thanks so much!!
3 thoughts

Close Call [07 Jun 2007|11:47am]

Close Call
"Close Call" on Google Video
a mysterious phone call - is it doOOoOoOoooOom?
thoughts

Better Fringe Poster [17 Apr 2007|12:10am]

Better Fringe Poster
Originally uploaded by plasticstalker.

I made a better poster that fits all guidelines for the Fringe Posters.
I want a different image for my postcards and my image/icon thingy for the website, but I really like this for the poster.
What do you guys think?

(bonus, this is actually a picture I took)

thoughts

Skyway [12 Mar 2007|10:13pm]

Skyway
Originally uploaded by plasticstalker.

On the way home we stopped at the Guthrie to pick up the Mechant tickets.
Sadly, the box office wasn't open today.
But lucky for me I snapped a few sweet photos while sitting in the car.
Check them out!
There are only about 5 or so, so no worries.

Anways, I think I'll head to bed now.
Night night1

thoughts

Food Coma [24 Nov 2006|10:44pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

So until 7 all I had eaten was a hot dog and some bre and wine and tea.
Then I ate so damn much.
Turkey and cranberries and mashed potatoes and stuffing and rolls and beans and corn and wine and lots of pie and kiwi parfait and ice cream and oooff! My tummy feels so full.
I can barely keep my eyes open.
It was all really good food, and there's shit loads left over so I'll be eating good food for about a week.
Yay for having 4 pies!!

I'm going to fall asleep very soon, I can feel it.

Oo! I also cleaned my room and it's really clean and that makes me happy!

thoughts

I just am [27 Aug 2006|01:08am]
[ mood | calm ]

I don't understand it
But suddenly, like this weekend, I feel like my whole life has changed, but it hasn't, not all that much at least.
What's changed? Hmm...

Josiah is gone.
I started the pill.
I have a TV.
Anything else? Not that I can think of right now.

But it feels like from this point forward my life will be completely different and I like it.

Even the world feels different...

Maybe this will be the time of my life that will change my life forever.

Maybe....

1 thoughts

[15 Aug 2006|12:00am]
[ mood | hopeless ]

I hate these moments when I feel hopeless.
When I read things from the past that have been ruined, or that remind me how much someone ruined me.
When I go back to wanting something I shouldn't want.
When I go back to trying to show someone how I feel when I really just need to stop.
When I check my e-mail inbox for the 1000th time today alone to see that, yet again no one has read my plays yet or has anything to say about them.
And when I realize how far fetched most of my dreams are.

At least one little thing brought a smile to my face.
I am  always requesting songs on the Current but they are never played so tonight when I sent in my request I said that none have been played yet and even though my song was yet again not played, when I put my headphones back on after getting something I hear Mark Wheat saying "Thanks to Mia in St. Paul" (and then the rest of the names) but that made me feel a little better to know that at least someone hears me.

I just feel so...hopeless sometimes and I don't know what to do.

1 thoughts

[23 Jul 2006|09:33pm]
I'm so bored! So I'm doing the survey from Brazil's LJ

Yeah...

I hate being in love, it makes me sad...
1 thoughts

Public entry. Anonymous comments welcomed and encouraged. [01 Jul 2006|12:47am]
Found this in some random LJ and thought it'd be an intresting thing to do, so go ahead.

Let's do that anonymous comment thing again shall we? I'm making this entry public and you're all encouraged to leave as many anonymous comments as you want. Say what you want, tell me a secret, tell me something you wouldn't if I knew who you were, be mean, be honest, drop me a piece of advice, make a confession... Anything goes. And I won't cheat, I turned off the IP logging so there's no way I'll know who you are. (Well I didn't but I don't know how to use IP so don't worry)

So come on out and play.
3 thoughts

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